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There is no excuse but devestation

July 9, 2013

The title says it all. There really is no excuse to leave people hanging. What I will say is that the results of the next 3 weeks following the 24 hours we were given to decide we’re a roller coaster of emotion.

We were not prepared to be offered a newborn baby. Not in our wildest adoption dreams did we think we would be taking one right from the hospital! We decided we wanted to go ahead-I mean who are we to turn down a once in a lifetime foster adoption opportunity? It did come with legal risk however. This baby had been abandoned at the hospital, there was a risk of the parents or extended family coming forth. We were in the unique position of being an adoptive home with a foster care licence. This qualified us to take the baby immediately upon release of the hospital.

the mother didn’t sign the paperwork for the adoption agency previously agreed to take the baby. The result of the mothers carelessness was 3 weeks of legal battle between family services and the adoption agency. Family services won, and the court ordered the baby PGO, permenance custody of family services and therefore eligible for adoption.

We were on a 3 week roller coaster waiting for the decision. it was absolute agony! everyday we woke wondering if today was the day, and every night just wanting it to be over! When children’s services was awarded the baby who was now eligible for adoption, they decided we were no longer the home. The child should go into foster care while the baby’s worker reviewed hundreds of families for the adoption. This would take months. We were utterly devastated!

The result of being left hanging and our emotions raw, our families frustrated and angry for us. This was all too much after waiting almost 2 years for an adoptive match only to be disappointed like this. The result in myself was a deep depression. The only reason I had to get up in the morning was our daughter, thank God for her.

I can write about this now because I am better, our matching has taken a turn for the better, but more importantly I went through the grieving process and worked through the depression.

My next post will be coming soon, I promise you I will go into more detail and updates very soon. It was a very long hard journey to get to the place I am today and finally able to write about this. More to come.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 9, 2013 2:53 PM

    Oh my goodness. I cannot even imagine how difficult those 3 weeks must have been for you, let alone the last several months. What a heart-wrenching situation to endure… As one who is just starting the foster adoption process, I so appreciate the honest stories that you’re offering.

    • July 10, 2013 3:19 PM

      Thank you, it is wonderful to hear that my stories are being appreciated! Something good has come from this pain, the silver lining…Best of luck on your journey!

  2. Gina permalink
    October 4, 2013 1:27 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story. As an Albertan just beginning the foster care application process, I appreciate reading your experience.

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