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Finally…a Baby! despite unbelievable odds

September 28, 2013

our boy manifest photoIt has been a long wait for this update and much longer wait for our family!

we got the call on an otherwise normal Wednesday afternoon. a 4 month old baby boy was available for us to adopt and were we interested? We’re we interested!? We were absolutely elated!

It it turns out that the very same baby boy who we were offered when still in hospital as a “legal risk” child was ow being offered to us to adopt!  It is quite a story I will give you the short version. (to get background read post” there is no excuse but devastation”.

A 42 year old woman went to the hospital and delivered a baby boy 6 weeks early. It was her plan for no one to know about this boy, not even his father. She was planning to give this child up for adoption to a well known agency. This agency worker had asked the mother of the Métis baby “how light is the baby’s skin?”. This had angered the mother and she left the hospital without signing the adoption papers. Thus the baby was classified as “abandoned”.

family services then entered a 3 week tug of war with the adoption agency. The adoption agency stood to make quite a sum of money if they placed the child for adoption. They both petitioned the court and the court decided that the baby was to be in the permanence custody of Family services (PGO). The Family services supervisor in charge decided that the baby should then be entered into the general adoption pool, rather than offered to us as a legal risk foster placement. (Read”there is no excuse but devastation”)

so a permanency placement social worker was chosen and he set about the task of reading stacks of home assessments from waiting parents hoping to adopt. Ours was just one of them.

Despite those odds that worker decided that ours was the best match for a family for that child. We have no idea what his criteria was to choose  us but we are over joyed none the less. We have welcomed him home and even got to name him!!! Our 4 month old baby boy!!!

I promise I will catch up with posts over the next few weeks and tell you all how it has been going. What a whirl wind!!!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Michelle permalink
    January 8, 2014 2:02 PM

    That’s so great! We are waiting to be placed with a child but now looking in the foster to adopt program as well.

  2. Jenny permalink
    January 19, 2014 9:20 AM

    I am hoping for an update! How is it going?

  3. Jaynee Way permalink
    April 16, 2014 10:10 PM

    Congratulations on your baby.

    Some families who visi your blog may find the following book I wrote to help families with the sometimes lengthy process f transition and dissolving attachment to foster careers and recreating that attachment with their new families. Here’s the info, it’s available from Amazom

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Some of you may enjoy my recent book disuxxing the nuances of successfully moving kids frome one caregiver to another with minimal trau,a. Available on Amazon

    Transitions: A Gentle Approach: How a “Team Approach” to Transitions can Create Success and Stability for our most vulnerable [Paperback]
    by Mrs Jaynee Wiebe Way

    Price: $11.69 & FREE Shipping on orders over $35. Detail
    Publication Date: January 23, 2014

    A growing number of children are experiencing the multiple moves that are an inherent part of the Foster Care System. Early Permanence for children is vital for healthy bonding and attachment to their forever families. In our time, open adoptions are the norm and we see a growing number of older child adoptions with children who have spent at least some time in the Foster Care System. These children from hard places have experienced challenges in their early lives. They deserve and require a gentle approach when being transitions to their forever families. Foster Care is by its very nature, a temporary solution to a long-term challenge. Children who suffer repeated disruptions of caregivers are at risk for developmental delays, poor self-regulation and behavioral and mental health problems. The earlier in a child’s life that we are able to accomplish permanence the better for the child’s attachment capacity and long-term outcomes When an at-risk child is moved to her permanent home, we are disrupting her primary caregiver once again. It is incumbent upon us to undertake this process with care and sensitivity. Our primary goals are to Preserve the Child’s Attachment Capacity and to Support their Prior Connections. A traumatic transition can lead to long-term effects on the child and indeed the entire Adoptive family. Transition is the slow and measured relinquishment of the nurture, care and discipline of a child by her current caregivers and the assumption of these same duties by her new Adoptive Parents. When embarked on in a thoughtful, tender manner, transition can be a gentle process that enlarges both the child’s sense of self and the circle of those who love and care for them. “In this book, foster and adoptive families will find many practical suggestions and tips that I believe will serve as anchors as they embark on the less than calm seas of transitioning children. Those who read will also find an unwavering commitment to remaining child-focused while having empathy for all involved in the complex dance that is transition.”

    I am available to support those going through difficult transitions or soon embarking on one.
    Jaynee.Way. davidandjaynee@shaw.ca

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